Mother’s Day, when you don’t have a mum


Screen Shot 2017-03-17 at 00.20.09My mum died when I was almost six years old, then a few years later, my grandma died too.

They both died of cancer.

Losing a mother or a grandma is hell at any age, but when you are a child it’s also really confusing.

Because to you when someone dies it’s like they leave you, and you can’t always comprehend why and how and where they went.

Now you may think this a silly statement to make, but when your mum dies Mother’s Day isn’t then cancelled for the rest of all eternity.

People still advertise it everywhere you look, they still make paintings in schools, and give out plants at church, your friends will still talk about what they are buying their mums and people will still accidentally ask you what you’re doing for Mother’s Day.

So what do you do? Sit at home and cry all day?

Well, yeah if you want to why the hell not. But once you’ve cried why not give your dad a hug;men like flowers too.

Why not give the middle finger to the world and make it Fathers Mother’s Day.

Or what ever kind of Mother’s Day you like, use it as a day to celebrate whoever was there for you doing all the mum jobs.

As for me, I usually spend it with my dad, because he deserves this day as much as any mum.

He did my sewing, bought my tampons, listened to all my crying over boys, took me on shopping trips and patiently dealt with all my “omg these jeans make me look so fat” moments.

He helped me through when when I was plagued with a teenage spots. He’s been at all my ballet recitals, brownie tea parties, at my school plays and swimming lessons and he was there when I graduated university. He has been both a mother and a father to me.

So what I would say to you, is that if you don’t have a mum at this time, then screw the norm make this day whatever kind of Mother’s Day you want it to be.



3 thoughts on “Mother’s Day, when you don’t have a mum

  1. Beautifully said. And spot on.

    I am spending this day with my second mum, my Sister. We are drinking wine, moaning about trivial dilemmas and planning to eat our weight in Jaffa cakes.

    It’s not conventional, but it is what we need.

    Liked by 1 person

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